When you disagree or fight with a partner, don't use logic. Use the sleep test. Ask, who's emotionally more invested? Go with their way.
Say we go with my way and you can't sleep tonight. If my way turns out to be wrong, you will have suffered AND we made the wrong decision.
When it's a deadlock, ask who won't be able to sleep tonight. You can often adjust later.
If you’re stuck on a problem, reframe it. We’re wired to fall in love with our first idea. But our first idea may not be the best.
Don’t get stuck on your first solution. Reframe the problem to come up with a better solution.
If something surprises you again and again, stop being surprised!
What’s one thing that keeps surprising you? Decide today that you will no longer be surprised by it.
(Barb's note: I'm sure this means negative surprises, things we are not prepared for because we step right into them again and again, based on the illustration)
We rarely do things perfectly the first time. Everything takes work and iteration. Embrace the opportunity to aim for better rather than perfect. Get it wrong the first time. Then make it better.
What things would you stop doing if you knew you had only one more year to live? Or if you had all the freedom in the world? Would you stop working late nights? Would you stop being on your phone as much?
Would you stop spending time with certain people? Write a list of things you would like to stop doing. Then ask yourself, what would have to happen so I could stop now?
When you hit a piñata each hit compounds until the candy comes out. With every hit you’re making progress. Even if it’s not visible. Keep swinging and you will get there
The harder it is to crack open the bigger the rush once it does.
If you want to solve a problem start by explaining the problem. Even if it’s just to yourself. Often the process of laying out a problem uncovers a solution.
What is your body telling you that your words might not be able to? Make it a habit to check in. See how you and your body is feeling.
Never invite anyone into your head who you wouldn’t invite into your home.
The next time you get wound up by what a random person says, ask yourself, 'Would I invite them into my home?' If the answer is no, let it go!
When you’re angry, count to ten. And when you’re very angry, count to 100 before responding.
Count longer the angrier you are. Or the lower your level of self control is.
Walking for just two minutes after a meal can significantly improve your blood sugar levels and your metabolism. So, after your next meal, take a short walk!
Unproductive arguments are like ping pong. Hitting facts back and forth, hoping to win.
For productive arguments, move away from making points and winning. Rather, focus on understanding the other person.
Read, watch, or listen to the classics. Classics are classics for a reason: they have stood the test of time. Chances are, you will enjoy them!
They don't have to be ancient, either. If you're not into Shakespeare, read Harry Potter or watch The Godfather.
This principle also applies to furniture, fashion, and almost anything else.
Every question has a right answer: the truth. Never lie. It makes life easier (especially in the long run). This doesn’t mean you should tell everyone everything all the time. But when they ask, tell the truth.
Next time you’re irritated or angry with someone, take a step back. Don’t attack them. Don’t ask, “What’s wrong with you?!” Instead, be kind. Be curious.
Ask, “What’s behind this?” Often, we don’t understand because we’re missing context. Be curious, not critical.
What do you think of when you hear the words "make that call"? What's that one call you should be making but haven't? The one you've been avoiding and pushing ahead of you?
Don't overthink. Decide and dial. Just make that call. You'll feel better... Keeping things in the back of our heads drains our energy. Get it out by getting it done.
Make clear rules about when to throw out old junk. Once clear rules are in place, junk will no longer be a problem. The mindset of "I'll keep this broken stereo for five years in case I learn how to fix it" will become a thing of the past.
This is a really cool rule of thumb! I like it! Read the text please. I'm definitely NOT discouraging reading, only reading what may not be meant for you.
Life is too short to read books you don't enjoy. And there are too many books you might love.
The rule of thumb is 100 pages minus your age. So, if you're 70 years old and don't love a book 30 pages in, stop reading!
Often, it's not what is said or done, but what we make of it that impacts how we experience something.
When people do things we don't like, it's just a tragic expression of unmet needs.
If your partner says, "You never have time," instead of arguing that you do, or that you're busy working to provide, ask, "Are you feeling sad because you would like to spend more time together?
When something “bad” happens in your life, you have three options: You can let it Define you, Destroy you, or you can use it to get Stronger.
Say you’re practicing for an important violin concert and you totally bomb. You can either tell yourself you’re a “failure” and stop playing, or you can work extra hard to make sure this never happens again.
Sending messages today is easy, fast, and free. We can send text, voice, video, and pictures almost instantly across the globe.
However, there was a time when phone calls were charged by the minute, and text messages were billed by the number of characters. And sending pictures or videos was not even possible.
When writing to a loved one, make each word matter. Write as if each word was valuable, because it can be.