I have found myself in a position that completely tore me apart. There was a situation that I was presented with that looked like the perfect solution to my financial problems...on the surface.
I love children. I ran a home daycare for many years. There is a daycare center within walking distance of where I am living. They had recently put a hiring sign in front of the facility. I applied and was hired pending my background check coming back. I knew that would not be a problem. I went through one day of training and saw so many things that went against how I believe children should be cared for. I am not judging how the place is run. It is a state run facility. They comply with the rules and regulations the state sets for them. I can see that they do their very best for the children that they can within those laws. Hopefully, all the people who work there truly believe in how things are run there. It is just not how I believe things should be done with children. If I worked there, I would be compromising my personal values. I am not saying I am right and that they are wrong. You have to know what is right for you.
This decision will look crazy on the surface even to people to whom I am very close. That is okay. I don't judge them either. I get it. We are told from a very young age that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do to get by. But you have to use your head and your heart together. It wasn't about not wanting to do it. I am no stranger to hard work. I have worked in a factory. I have been a housekeeper cleaning up to 32 rooms in a day. I cared for up to 8 children in my home by myself. But I was not compromising my values in any of those positions.
This morning when I woke up, I knew I would not be proud of my decision if I went back to that daycare. It may be a good job for others. It just is not for me.
Be true to yourself NO MATTER WHAT. It will be hard sometimes. It will look crazy. You may lose friend, even family. But you will have your self-respect, which is a basic necessity to live a life full of joy and purpose.
Over the last four and a half years, I have earned a doctorate in Holistic Theology. I learned so many great truths about consciousness and how we create our lives beginning with our beliefs. I am not bragging. I state that to let you know that I believe in the things I have learned. If you don't live in a way that aligns with your beliefs, you will not be able to fulfill a purpose only you can fulfill.
What is next? I don't know yet, but it will be a truth I was born to live.