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Daily Dose of Kindness
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 23, 2024
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Crystal of the Day
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 23, 2024
From Karma Gaia
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Today's Learning
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 23, 2024
From Karma Gaia Learn how to forgive yourself to move forward When someone else does something that hurts us, our reasons for holding a grudge are usually clear. We want the pain to be understood. Once they’ve apologized and made amends, we’re usually clear to move on. However, things become considerably more challenging when it comes to forgiving yourself. Anger can serve as a self-defense mechanism when it comes from someone else. In a way, holding a grudge against them and demanding restitution keeps our self-image intact. We have effectively kept a border. But when we're angry with ourselves, it's usually a result of a violation of our morals. Our emotions are therefore typically more nuanced than simple rage. Yes, we are angry at ourselves, but we are also ashamed and disappointed in ourselves. An inner critic: what is it? The little voice inside of us that continuously tells us that we're failing, that we're doing something incorrectly, or that we ought to be better is known as our inner critic. It’s super mean, to be honest. That judgmental voice is far more cruel than we would ever be to a friend or loved one, which is what makes it so insane. Furthermore, we wouldn't put up with someone saying such things to us or about someone we care about. However, these ideas sound far more real when they remain inside. We tend not to question the thoughts that run through our minds because we tend to be less aware of them. This uninformed inner critic can cause a great deal of harm. It's a form of internal gaslighting when it's out of control, making us doubt everything we say, do, or dream about. Learning to be compassionate with yourself is the only effective method to stop it. How to forgive yourself Here are some strategies to help the process of healing and forgiveness get started: 1. Understand that you’re not perfect You’re not perfect. Declare it aloud, jot it down, or write it on a coffee cup. You’re not perfect — and you’re not a bad person, either. You are only a person. Give yourself the same grace you give to other people. Are you holding yourself to a standard that you would never place on another person? 2. Get clear on why you’re upset with yourself Investigate the source of your guilt-ridden emotions. Is it perfectionism? Have you harmed anyone else? Have you done something that you’re embarrassed about? Despite the discomfort it may cause to look upon, confronting it head-on can be instructive. Chances are, it’s not hard to imagine someone else doing the same thing and being completely unbothered. For instance, when I don't do tasks by the deadline, I am really angry with myself. It's the main thing I criticize myself for. However, I have friends who could care less and submit everything either late or not at all. And what do you know? I don’t think that they’re bad people. Try to be scientific about what happened and why it’s bothering you so much. Being late makes me feel careless and incapable, personally. Neither of these describe who I am, and I don't want anyone else to think that way either. 3. Repair what you can After determining what your "wrongdoing" is, you'll be able to determine whether you have to atone for it. You might have an apology (or, as in my case, a completed assignment) owed to someone. You can accept it for yourself so you can move on from the past, even if the ship has sailed and you won't get another chance to make it up. You’re not a bad person, you just didn’t finish/do/get/say something. It’s not fun, but it happens.
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Image of the Day
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 23, 2024
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Insight of the Day
In General
Daily Dose of Kindness
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 22, 2024
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Image of the Day
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 22, 2024
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Ayurveda Recipes From Karma Gaia:
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 22, 2024
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Crystal of the Day
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 22, 2024
From Karma Gaia
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Today's Learning
In General
Barb McLaughlin
Feb 22, 2024
From Karma Gaia How to Identify and Process Your Emotions Processing emotions is about learning to understand, make sense of and deal with emotions in healthy productive ways. Emotion processing takes time to learn. You may initially feel nothing at all because you are so detached from your own emotions or so used to suppressing them. Emotional intelligence needs patience and takes time to master, just like any other new skill. Stage one. (Identification and awareness of emotions and feelings) What emotions or senses am I experiencing? Which part of my body is experiencing it? in my stomach, throat, or chest? What thoughts am I having that indicate what I might be feeling? Are there any contradicting thoughts / feelings? Do I have any judgments on the thoughts/feelings I have? Am I having any urges to suppress/move away from these feelings? Why? Stage Two – ability to stay with and accept the feelings in order to process. It can be challenging to tolerate intense emotional states, but keep in mind that experiencing your emotions won't kill you. Practice calm breathing, counting to four as you inhale and to five as you exhale, when you are going through a challenging emotional moment. As you breathe into the feeling, bring an openness and curiosity to the feeling. and ask yourself? Is this feeling (s) intolerable? Why do I think it is intolerable? Do I believe that if I give in to this feeling, awful things will happen? How come? On a scale of 1 to 10, how horrible is it? Do I get uncomfortable bodily sensations? How can I put up with this state? (Relax, inhale, or remain motionless?) Stage three – processing in order to act on the emotion appropriately.  This stage is basically about understanding why you are having the feeling in order to move on to stage four. Are there any needs that are going unmet? (ie do I feel misunderstood / unheard / disrespected? Has a boundary been violated by someone? Has one of the values been violated? What is my contribution to this distress? Am I falling into old behaviour patterns? Is this emotional distress as a result of distorted thinking? Is this emotion the triggering of childhood memories? Is this distress a result of me not accepting my feeling or judging it as wrong? Is this distress from a build-up of different events? Stage Four – addressing the emotions. Knowing how to handle a sensation or emotion is difficult. Speaking with someone whose judgment we trust can be quite beneficial in gaining a fair assessment of the situation. Certain emotions stem from flawed thought processes, so in order to let go of the emotions, we should work to reframe our thoughts in more constructive ways. Other times, the feeling is triggered by childhood memories or past trauma and so we need to find ways of letting it go. However, some feelings might be due to a boundary being violated or from a need being unmet and in these cases we may need to be assertive with someone in our lives. The secret to psychological well-being is to deal with the emotion and feeling in a healthy, suitable manner.
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